LIFE UPDATE 003: LEAVING TAIWAN

Friday, August 9, 2019

LIFE UPDATE 003: LEAVING TAIWAN

posted by Angeline Suwardi

Two weeks. 2 more weeks and I'm leaving Taiwan for good.

"This is the right thing to do." I tried to convince myself.

But is it? Is it really the right thing to do? This question keeps popping in my head and I try to calm myself down and remind myself that only by leaving can I really pursue the career that I want.

But I can't help thinking about everything that could go wrong by moving back to Indonesia. For example, leaving my closest friends that I have made here (although most of them are leaving too, but still, the thought of not seeing one another for a long time kind of saddens me); the traffic that I will face every damn day; the comfort of Taiwan's 7-11 and Family Mart (although Indonesia has its own convenience store, but nothing that beat how convenient Taiwan's 7-11s are); the cheap unlimited internet access (sure, Indonesia also has unlimited internet access, but it's expensive af, and the signal is not even that good. Indonesia's internet is kind of slow compares to Taiwan's); the safety of Taiwan's streets (I can walk around at midnight all alone without feeling paranoid). Although all the stuff that I mentioned above sound like stupid and irrelevant problems to some people, but it's kind of important to me. And I'm sad that I'm leaving all those comforts behind.

However, other than all those concerns, I too have a few things to be excited about to go back. It's all bitter and sweet really. There are pros and cons in everything and I believe that there are more pros to this decision that I made (hopefully).

The things that I'm most excited about is Indonesia itself. I can't wait to travel around Indonesia, to see the beautiful beaches that 'she' offers. I am also excited to start the career path that I've been wanting to pursue since I graduated from uni; going back to school (although it sounds scary too), and just work in the field that I'm passionate about.

Also, I'm excited and scared at the same time to not be in a long-distance relationship anymore. The boyfriend is moving back too and we'll be in the same city (eek). You know that feeling when you've been in a long-distance relationship for so long and then suddenly, you're living only a few kilometers away? (No? Is it just me then?) That's scary for me. I mean I'm happy for sure that we get to see each other more often, but what if we take each other for granted now that it's easier for us to meet each other? 

Anyways, if that does happen, it's a problem to solve in the future, not now.

One other thing about moving back to Indonesia is making new friends and adapting to the environment again. I know some people might ask "why is that such a problem to you? You were born and raised in Indonesia." That's true, but I'm not actually moving back to my hometown, I'm going to be living in another city (hopefully the J-town) and that means I have to start over from the beginning. I know no one in that foreign city and the people are generally just different from the people in my hometown. Although I've done this before (moving to Taiwan 5 years ago and making new friends and all) but this time feels very different from what I felt when I first moved to Taiwan for uni. All I felt when I moved to Taiwan 5 years ago is excitement. I was so excited to be away from home and meet new people; I was very excited about the new opportunities to come. But today? The fright is bigger than the excitement.

But for now, my biggest problem yet.... is moving. The process of moving.

I have been living in Taiwan for almost 5 years now and the things that I bought these past few years are not little. I did ask my parents to bring my winter essentials back home when they came to visit in May, but I still got other small-not-so-important-stuff-that-I-bought-or-received-that-I-kept-just-for-sentimental-purposes.

Moving is a nightmare. It's like packing for a holiday but bigger and more troublesome. I've been hating packing for a holiday and now I have to pack to move across the country. It's a freaking nightmare.

It's too late to back down anyways... So I just got to do what I got to do and suck it all up.

Keep convincing myself that everything will be okay and I will be happier back home.

I pray that everything goes well and that I can adapt just as well in the new city.

Cheers to a better future! xx

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School Ground

Saturday, July 13, 2019

School Ground

posted by Angeline Suwardi

Had a little stroll around one of the "it"  university in Taiwan.

All photos were taken by my Yashica Electro 35 GX with Kodak Ektar 100

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In Search of Home

In Search of Home

posted by Angeline Suwardi

They say home is where the heart is.

But how do I know where my home is when my heart doesn't know where to settle?

Is it where I grew up?

or is it where I spent my happiest teenage life?

Is it where I feel the most comfortable,

or is it a person instead of a place?

Who the hell knows.

I used to dislike the city that I grew up in.

To be honest, I still do.

I dislike the narrow-minded people,

I dislike how everybody seems to know one another, despite being the fifth most populous city in Indonesia.

I dislike how judgemental the people in this city can be,

and I dislike how rude the way the people talk sometimes.

To sum it up, there's really nothing that I like about this crowded city,

except for its food.

When I was in high school, all I could think of is how the hell do I get out of this city.

How do I stay as far away from my parents?

As far away from all those judgmental people.

And that longing of moving as far away as I can go came true.

I am now five hours away by flight from that hometown of mine.

I never miss it.

My friends cried when they left their parents and their "home",

but I walk away with a smile on my face.

"Finally, I'm out", I thought.

I had the best times in this foreign country.

Far away from my mom's nagging,

far away from the unnecessary gossips,

far away from all the people that I knew my whole life.

I was so excited to meet new people

and start a new life,

a new me.

I was living my best life.

But this foreign country doesn't feel like home to me.

I always knew that I won't be staying here forever,

but I never knew where to go next.

"You are an adult now, you need to find a home", I said to myself.

But what is home?

I never found the answer to that question until five months ago.

The month was February.

I went back to my parents' house and spent the Chinese New Year with other familiar faces.

Oddly, I felt comfortable there.

But I did not feel comfortable because of the place.

I felt comfortable because I was there with my parents and my siblings.

Then, I knew that they are my home.

I used to distance myself from my parents and siblings back when I was younger.

Now, all I want to do is to be with them,

to tell my problems to my mom,

to listen to her advice,

and my youngest sister's laughter and babbling felt like home to me.

The older I get, the more I look forward to going home and spend my time with my family.

I am slowly becoming a family person.

Is this what aging and living abroad for years do to people?

So, I found my home.

And I hope you do too, someday.

A snippet of where I grew up.

Photos were taken with my Nikon Zoom 310 AF point and shoot.

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January Film Roll

Monday, January 28, 2019

January Film Roll

posted by Angeline Suwardi

So I went to a place called Cingjing Farm in Nantou County and took some photos with my point and shoot film camera. Enjoy!

All photos were taken in Nikon Zoom 310 AF with Kodak Gold 200.

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Last Days of 2018

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Last Days of 2018

posted by Angeline Suwardi

The boyfriend visited last month for the New Year and we spent our last week of 2018 in a county called Nantou. I've been wanting to visit this county for so long because it's quite a famous tourist spot here in Taiwan. There's a farm called Cingjing Farm where they hold sheep shows and generally just a grassland where you could hang out with a bunch of sheep.

To get to Cingjing Farm, we first need to hop on the High-Speed Rail from Taipei to Taichung, then changed to a bus to get to Puli station where we will stop for around 5-10 minutes before heading our way to the Cingjing Farm. All those commutes took us around 2-3 hours, which was quite tolerable but the ride up to the mountain was a bit rough for me. We arrived at our BnB at around 1 p.m. and we then headed directly to a restaurant just around our BnB to have our long-awaited lunch. After filling up our tummy, we waited for the public bus to get us to the Cingjing Farm which took quite a while since the bus only comes around every one hour, so we have to always keep track on the bus schedule through an app.

When we finally arrived at the Cingjing Farm, unfortunately, we just missed the sheep show; but there were still tons of sheep just chillin' on the grassland and enjoyed their time with the humans.

and of course, I had to take a picture with the sheep.

the boyfie <3

After chilling around the grassland, we went through the traditional market right outside of the farm to have a few snacks. We originally wanted to take a walk on the skywalk but the ticket booth has closed, so we did not get a chance to walk through it. We then wasted our time to wait for the bus (again) to take us back to our BnB.

The next day, we had to wake up super early for the sunrise tour that we're taking. I've been waiting for this moment the most because I've seen pictures of friends who came and the sky just looks amazing with hues of pink and purple. But luck doesn't seem to be on our side on those few days that we're in Nantou. The weather was not very supportive, so we didn't get the chance to see the pink and purple sky, but nevertheless, I still enjoyed the trip (not so much for the boyfriend because he wasn't feeling well that morning due to lack of sleep).

Met a cute corgy and couldn't resist taking a picture with him.

Since we woke up at like 3 a.m., we then took a nap again from 9 a.m. till 12 p.m. Then, we head to a resort called The Old England Resort, which has an architecture like the old English houses to have an afternoon tea/ lunch. But because we did not check the bus schedule in advance, we missed our bus and had to wait for another hour for it (?!!) After considering whether to wait for the bus or walk uphill to the resort, we chose the latter and walked our asses up the hill for around 30 minutes. The walk was worth it though cause then we could fill our tummy with more food.

We learned our lesson and actually checked the bus schedule before finishing our meal so we could get to the bus station right on time. While waiting for the bus, we took tons of photos around the resort and read a few wishes from tourists that hang around the big christmas tree in front of the resort. We also wrote a wish and hang it on the tree because, why not?

When our bus came, we then head to our last stop of the day, that is the Small Swiss Garden. We didn't do much or take too many photos there cause honestly, I was kind of disappointed with the place; let's just say that it did not meet my expectation.

And... we end this trip with hotpot.

To sum it all, the trip was okay. I enjoyed it because I was with my loved one, but there's one downside to this trip that make such a huge impact on the enjoyable factor of this trip, that is, the transportation. They should have more buses going around so people do not have to wait every one hour; every 20-30 mins is more acceptable. But then again, it's on the mountain. The fact that there are public transports available around the area is helpful enough for people who do not travel with private cars. So I guess we should just be grateful instead.

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